I’m just writing this to put all my feelings into words and let whoever reading it knows how tired and hurt I am because at this stage of life I have no one to talk to about how I really feel.
It’s midnight and that’s normally the time my feelings and thoughts come all at once and just attack me from every corner of my mind.
I try so hard to think of happy things , memories , anything to put a smile on my face before sleeping but as usual it’s just a failure.
I had people I could talk to , I lost them . It wasn’t their fault. It was mine. I’m the one to blame , they were there for me but I kept pushing them away until they finally fell and took no more bullsh*t from me.
It’s times like this I wonder if I’ll ever find a true friend who’ll be there for me no matter how b*tchy I am or how depressed I am. Someone who will be there for me twice as much when I’m sad as they are there for me when I’m happy.
Someone who truly cares if something bad happened to me. You know ? Those kind of people who you can call a true friend ? Someone that I never had or will ever have in my life .
It’s time like this I start to realise how unworthy I really am , how unwanted and how unnecessary my presence is. I mean, if I die tonight , who would come to my funeral apart from my family ? Even my family , they wouldn’t do a funeral if it wasn’t for what the people would say/think of them.
It’s times like this I realise that I will never be good enough. Not even for one hour of my life nevermind a day.
Will these thoughts ever go away ? Or are they just what reality is and i just keep running away from reality each night by crying myself to sleep ?
Because I’m really tired of life at this stage and id really like an answer.
Sometimes we don’t realise how much everything is changing around us simply because we’re so centred in our own life that we don’t see what’s going on.
People getting married ,
People having babies ,
People moving houses ,
Just people around you that you’ve known for half if not all of your life. But you’re too busy locked up in your own sorrow that you miss these little opportunities to smile.
I mean ,
You missed to see how happy the pride was ~
How proud the new mother was ~
How delighted this new couple who finally got their own house were ~
You just miss things that might be small things to you but are the world to those around you.
A key to happiness is being happy for others progressions , even in your darkest times. .
So keep smiling ~ for the main reason that you should be smiling ~ you’re alive , you’re healthy , you love and are being loved ~ so don’t ever forget to SMILE😊
Do you ever get them people that tell you that you moan about your life too much, but yet when you ask them to open up with you and talk to you about their problems they try their best to avoid it?
Why are we friends ? Friends know everything about each other , not pick what they want to know and then avoid what they don’t want to hear. No ones life is perfect but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be there for your friend. Maybe you’re the only friend they have. Maybe they’re telling you about their problems because they thought you’re the only one who truly understands them and cares about them. You don’t help them by saying “it’s not all about you”. You just crush them to bits and give them the idea of not wanting anything to do with them.
All I’m trying to say is, if you can’t be there for your friends and listen to them when they most need you. Then don’t expect them to be at your door steps when you’re upset and lonely.
Karma doesn’t let anything go by. So do good, for your own good.
Do you ever just sit down and realise how much your life sucks without that one person that probably meant the world to you ?
Especially that day after you stop talking to them . .
Don’t you just feel how empty your life is ? I mean .. They were always there when you’re bored, sick, tired, sad, happy, hyper, upset, confused .. Etc. but now you have no one that wants to know about your day and how it’s going or how you slept or what you had for dinner or all these small things that you always talked about to that ONE person that used to talk to you all day and night until one of you falls asleep without saying goodnight because you didn’t want the conversation to end..
When I first started this blog the only thing I was thinking of is to talk about ME and MY life. Not about that one person that meant the world to me .. But now that he’s gone , I guess I’ll actually start doing what I said I will do from the start ?!
I really miss ‘YOU’ though 💔 not sure where else to say it. But my blog is the only place I can express myself without being judged …
To all the people that are reading this . There won’t be anymore blogs about my ‘love life’ so be assured there won’t be any more depressed me on here! 😊
These six words been in my mind for a while now. They explain the situation the world is in right now in such a way that it makes me sad.
Everyone fighting, everyone killing, children are killed, women are raped, men are kidnapped and heads are cut off.
For what? What is this world coming to? Why do we kill each other? What is the reason we have so much hate for each other ? What did anyone do to those killing people around the world?
It’s about time we wake up and realise no one is doing anything that deserves to be killed for. It’s about time we realise that what’s happening is wrong and no one should support it.
Why are terrorists being supported while those targeted are forgotten about?